Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
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You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
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This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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