I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
