Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
