We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
