Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Operation Purity has been aborted
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize