just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
