i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize