You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
