Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I could fuck to npr.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.