Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
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Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
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Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes