So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
