stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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