one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I woke up under a house in Key West
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