the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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