Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize