also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
