The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
