Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She bit a glass in half.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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