no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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