Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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