I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy