Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Hi, my name's audrey!
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?