There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.