Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
