He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
