Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
i believe in u and ur pee
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
