planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
time to smoke my breakfast
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
