dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
