Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
How does one acquire holy water?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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