I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
