mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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