My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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