You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
