i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
