Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
