The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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