Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
and she was petting her beer can
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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