Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
