The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
