I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
