Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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