i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
