Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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