just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
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