Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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