New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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