But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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