Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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