just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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