i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize