only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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