so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
