I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
