Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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