she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
