Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
