After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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