The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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