I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
