i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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