my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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